You know that line,

third time lucky.

Well such luck has never existed in my case. At times, a third time never even materialised before I could made a judgment.

Either way I fucked up, yet again.

I'm sorry I swear a lot.

But honestly, I don't give a shit.

It adds to the emotion. The REAL emotion.

Not some kinda weak response to 'how were your results' like 'oh...it's ok'.

'Ok'

A seriously overused word in Malaysian vocabulary nowadays that signifies nothing.

Perhaps neutrality.

But most definitely, zero emotion.

Ah heck. What the fuck am I blabbing about.

Back to the point. I fucked up.

How many times must I say it before I realise its true cost.

The sacrifice the people around me have to put through.

To ensure that I live a life free of travesties.

While here I am DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT.

Spoilt bastard I am.

It's time to face reality.

This time's the final hurdle, the last test, the do-or-die moment.

Between now and then, what I do in between is gonna have a massive impact.

So I'm probably gonna blog for the last time in a long while. Even longer than the last hiatus.

Fuck, it erks me how bad my English has become. Not that I was ever going to have a career in writing or anything literature-based. It's just personal pride. Ego, if you'd like.

So yeh.

F

O

C

U

S

!

!